Little Hodakio

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodakio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said. " Very good! -- Who said,"Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth." Again no response except from Little Hodakio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." "Excellent," said the teacher continuing, "Let's try one a bit more difficult -- Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'?" Once again, Hodakio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961". The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Hodakio isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do." She heard a loud whisper: "F_ _ k the Japs." "Who said that? -- I want to know right now," she angrily demanded. Little Hodakio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945." At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! -- Now who said that?" Again Little Hodakio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? -- Suck this!" Little Hodakio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit! -- If you say anything else -- I'll kill you!" Little Hodakio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004". The teacher fainted.
As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're F-- ked!" Little Hodakio said quietly, "The American people, November 4, 2008, when Obama was elected".

Discovering Gravity

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"
Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

What Do Your Parents Do?

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." "That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?" Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman." "Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?" Billy proudly stood up and announced, "Nothing. He's an economist."