First Day of School

A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So he raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked him to be quick.
Five minutes later he returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted. The teacher sat him down and drew him a little diagram of where he should go and asked him if he would be able to find it now. The boy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way.
Five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher "I can't find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Jon, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom. So two fellas go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats.
The teacher asks Jon, "Well, did you find it?"
Jon is quick with his reply: "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards"

Kids In College

One can pity the father with three kids in college. He tells his wife that they are getting poorer by degrees.

No Worries

A fat teenager is sitting on a park bench eating a huge bag of potato chips.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating too much junk food is bad for you." The boy looked over and replied, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate lots of junk food?"
"No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."