A Childs' Perspective!

• A monsoon is a French gentleman.
• For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
• To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
• Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.
• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.
• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
• The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming down.
• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
• Someday we might discover magnets that can point in any direction.
• One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
• Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
• Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.
• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.
• The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered.
• I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important thing.
• The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

All The Right Answers

Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question to ask and that he shouldn't ask it again. He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that she wouldn't answer the question and that he shouldn't ask it again. The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced. Once again, she told him that it was not a question he should ask and to not ask that question again. He went away. A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She asked what he was doing and as he turn toward his mother, he beamingly told her he had found all the answers to his questions by looking at her driver's license. He said, "Mother, you're 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddy divorced you because you got an 'F' in sex."

I Spy

Five year old Johnny and his little sister are peeping through a keyhole at their parents making love: "Wow, look at them! And we are not allowed even to stick a finger in our nose!"