Banned Children's Books

BANNED CHILDREN'S BOOKS

• Dad's New Wife Timothy Pop!
• Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games
• How to Become the Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
• Safe Sex and the Zip-Lock Bag
• Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets
• Egghead - and Other Things Mrs. Dumpty Gave Humpty
• The Complete Set Of "Mother Got Goosed" Nursery Rhymes
• Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures
• The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad
• The Tickling Babysitter
• Babar Meets the Taxidermist
• Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
• Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
• The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
• Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Mom's Purse
• The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
• Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
• Let's Draw Betty and Veronica Without Their Clothes On
• The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead
• How to Insert Sharp Objects into Your Ear
• When is Later? The Beanie Babies and the Putrid Odor
• Why Mommy and Daddy Are Bouncing on the Bed
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Get Kinky
• Rin Tin Tin Guards the Herd of Sheep
• How Far is Not Far? Three Men in a Tub - The Untold Story
• The Boy Who Cried "Fire!" Things Rat Poison Looks Like
• Why Uncle Bud Falls Down
• Two Fingers in the Dike
• Back To School! A Munitions Primer
• Jack and Jill and Ted and Alice
• Things That Are Really Sharp
• How Dopey Got His Name
• Spinach or Steroids - A Guide to Scholarships

How Many ADHD Kids

Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Wanna ride a bike?

Youngster Theories

From Matt Groening's very funny "Big Book Of Hell", here are some philosophical theories shared by youngsters:
If you eat a bunch of fizzies (i.e. pop-rocks or the like) when you drink a glass of water, you will explode.
Dogs and bees can smell fear.
Nothing's impossible. Not even a little baby counting all the grains of sand in the whole world in a fraction of a second.
If you throw a penny off the top of the Empire State Building, it will go a foot into the sidewalk.
There's a place in France where the ladies wear no pants.
If you cut open a golfball, the radioactive juice inside will blow up.
Rain is just God peeing on you.
If you die in your dream, you will die.
Adults are really Martians, and they're up to no good.