Naming the Kids

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.
Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you.
"The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and said with trepidation, "Well what did you name them?" The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise. "The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name!  What did you come up with for my son?" The brother replied, "Denephew."

Small Boy In A Thunderstorm

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."

Lipstick problem!

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that there had to be something done about it. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She then explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then used it to clean the mirror. Needless to say, there have been no lip prints on the mirror since!