Jewish Mother's Opinion

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?" "I don't like her."

What Not To Say At A Funeral

What Not To Say At A Funeral

• I'm not convinced. I'm going to go give her a good shaking?
• I'm sure we'll all be laughing about this in no time!
• It's funny, we all thought you'd be the first to go, Grandpa.
• You know, your husband never paid back that $50 he owed

Mother-in-Law Tapping on Window

Q: What do you have to do when your mother-in-law taps the window?
A: Turn the furnace up a little higher.