Tourist In London

An American walking through the streets of London, passed under Canary Wharf (London's biggest building).  As he stood there looking up, a kid joined him.  After a while, the American turned to the kid and said, "Do you realize, son, that we have buildings like that in the States, only they're three times the size?" "I'm not surprised," said the kid. "That's a Lunatic Asylum!"

Brains For Sale

A guy walks into a store to buy brains. He asks the woman behind the counter how much each of the brains cost. They saleswoman tells him, "$5/gram for women's brains, $20/gram for dog's brains, and $100/gram for men's brains." So the guy is surprised with the varying prices, and he asks the saleswoman, "How come men's brain's are so much more expensive than women's brains or dog's brains?" The saleswoman replies, "Are you kidding!? Do you know how many men it takes to get a gram of brains?"

Hand Surgery

I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if, after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. He said, "I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy."