Blonde M&Ms;

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

Blonde Horseback Riding

A blonde decides to try horseback riding. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control. As she's thrown from the horse, her foot catches in the stirrup, so she lands head first. Just as she loses consciousness, the carnie stops the carousel.

A Bunch of Better Idiots

These "Weird Reference Questions" are from the Library Paraprofessionals Listserv. All of these are real and provide proof that a "better idiot" can be invented.

• "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"
• "Do you have that book by Rushdie: 'Satanic Nurses'?" (Actual title: "Satanic Verses")
• "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"
• "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?"
• "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?" hmmm... I don't recollect any camera-toting cavemen... do you?
• "I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm having trouble with it in my neck." (No... that's your brain miss-firing.)
• "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months." (I know... how about shooting yourself? That would get you life in prison!)
• "I need a color photograph of George Washington." (Ok... hold on... I'll check with the caveman...)
• "Is the basement upstairs?" (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk) This one gets the golden stupidity award!