Worst Person

You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.

Great Asset

They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two letters.

Low Self-Esteem

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, sat down on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."