To The Dump

You might be a redneck if you come back from the dump with more than you took.

Big Chief, No Fart

The daughter of an Indian chief visits his doctor.
"Big Chief no fart," She tells the doctor. The doctor tells her to give the chief three pills a day.
The girl comes back the next day and tells the doctor, "Big Chief no fart." The doctor then gets really worried and tells her to give him ten pills an hour.
The girl comes back the next day and says, "Big Chief no fart." After hearing this the doctor gets so pissed off that he tells her to give him a jar an hour.
The next day the girl comes back crying and says "Big fart no Chief!"

Brown-noser vs Shit Head

Q: What is the difference between a brown-noser and a shit-head?
A: Depth perception.