Ate Her First

Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. "No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm." "No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!"

Brown-noser vs Shit Head

Q: What is the difference between a brown-noser and a shit-head?
A: Depth perception.

Suarez the Cannibal

Q: Did you hear about Suarez the cannibal?
A: Relatively ordinary guy, has a house, a beautiful wife, loves to eat Italian.