Turkey Turn Over

Q: What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
A: If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Ball Point Pen

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians use a pencil.

Chuck Norris Crossed The Street

Chuck Norris once crossed the road- No one has ever dared to question his motives.