Sage Medical Advice

Q: What two pills should you NEVER take together?
A: Sleeping pill and a laxative.

Spread Over Three Seats

A man lay spread out over three seats in the second row of a movie theater. As he lay there breathing heavily, an usher came over and said, "That's very rude of you, sir, taking up three seats. Didn't you learn any manners! Where did you come from?" The man looked up helplessly and said, "The balcony!"

Three Redneck Lies

1. The pickup is paid for.
2. I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence.