Offer Legal Advice

Taylor was desperate for business,and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant.  The judge ordered Taylor, "You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can."
After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone.  When the judge asked where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied,  "You asked me to give him good advice.  I found out that he was guilty, so I told him to split."

Lawyer and Sperm

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?
A: At least a sperm has a one in a million chance of becoming a human being.

Lawyers

A man calls his lawyers office. When the receptionist answers the phone he asks to speak to Mr. Taylor, his lawyer.The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but Mr. Taylor died last week." The man says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office and again asks for Mr. Taylor. The receptionist says, "Sir, I told you yesterday that Mr. Taylor has died." The man again says nothing and hangs up the phone. The next day he calls the office again and asks for his lawyer. The receptionist gets angry and says "Sir, I have told you for two days that Mr. Taylor has passed away. Why do you continue to call?" The man then answers "I like hearing good news when I call my lawyer's office."