Bumper Stickers Seen

Bumper Stickers Seen

• You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
• I have the body of a god... Buddha.
• This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
• Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
• The face is familiar but i can't quite remember my name.
• Illiterate? Write for help.
• Honk if anything falls off.
• He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit.
• This isn't my idea of a good time.
• It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
• Uniquely maladjusted, but fun.
• This bumper sticker exploits illiterates.
• I haven't lost my mind it's backed up on disk somewhere.
• Oh, evolve!
• Gone crazy be back shortly.
• If you're not outraged you're not paying attention.

Cows News

Q: What do cows read in the morning?
A: The daily moos!

Hidden Meaning

Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.
Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.
Fast learner: You will get no training from us.
Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.
Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.
Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.
Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.
Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.
Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.
Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.
Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.
Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.
Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.
Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.