Create a Hallmark Moment!

Greeting cards are getting expensive, so why not design your very own Hallmark Moment with some these sayings:

• "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
• "I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in Hell till I met you."
• "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?"
• "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
• "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
• "Thanks for being a part of my life! I never new what evil was before this!"
• "Money is tight, times are hard, here's your @#$/& Christmas card!!!"
• "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
• "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with breasts that are bigger than mine."
• "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
• "The holidays are a great time to be with family. Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!"

Bumper Stickers

All generalizations are false, including this one.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

Bumper Stickers 21

• Gravity - It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
• Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
• Life is too complicated in the morning.
• All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
• The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
• My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ... I'm sure going to miss her.
• Ask me about my vow of silence.
• Today's subliminal message is: ( )