FDA Milk Labeling Rules

The new FDA milk labeling rules are so strict, it's now illegal to print a picture of a missing fat kid on a carton of skim milk.

The Puzzle

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle supposed to look like?"
The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
So, the blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger."
"Second, I'd advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!"

What's for Lunch

Q: How do you break an addiction to lunch meat?
A: Go cold turkey.