Teacher's Note

Tommy's teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, "Tommy seems to be a very bright boy but spends too much of his time thinking about sex and girls."
The Mother wrote back the next day, "If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father."

New To Sports

Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked. "You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!" "Really? How'd you do that?" "I dropped the ball."

Kids Learn Fast

Mr. Smith took his four-year-old son, Bryan, to several baseball games where "The Star-Spangled Banner" was sung before the start of each game.
Several days later,  the Smith family attended St Bartholomew's church on the Sunday before Independence Day.  The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, Bryan suddenly stood up and  yelled out at the top of his voice, 'Play ball.'