Pigs In A Blanket

This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.

Ride 'em

One day, little Mikey came home from kindergarten and couldn't find his mother. So he headed upstairs and opened her bedroom door. To his surprise, he saw his dad stripped naked on top of his mom, who was also naked, both heavily into the sexual act. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continued to do what they were doing. After a couple of minutes, Mikey asked, "Daddy, can I climb on top and have a horsey ride?" The dad thinks for a second, "Of course son, we're a family." After a couple more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly. "Hang on Dad!" cries Mikey, "This is where me and the mailman usually fall off!"

Babies At The Grocery

There were three little babies sitting next to each other in shopping carts in the grocery store check-out line. The first little baby says, "Ugh, look at this my mom just bought strained plums!" The second baby says, "You think that's bad - my mom just bought strained peas!" And the third baby says... "You think you guys got it bad? How would you like to share a breast with a guy that smokes cigars!"