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Jokes about Families - Mother-in-Law Jokes
The Hitman
Two guys are talking in a bar. “I want to kill my wife,” says one. “Why not ask Arti, over there,” says the other man, pointing to a man at the fruit-machine. “Arti over there is a top hitman,” the friend goes on. So the man approaches Arti. “Are you Arti the hit-man?” asks the man. “Sure am,” replies Arti. “You couldn’t murder my wife for me, could you?” asks the man. “I can,” replies Arti, “And you know, I promised my Master, who taught me the noble art of assassination, that I would do my one hundredth kill for a fee of just one pound and give the client two further kills for free.” “Great,” says the man. Could you kill my wife, her sister and my mother-in-law?” “OK”, replies Arti. “Get them to go to Tesco’s tomorrow at 10:00 AM.” “Right,” says the man. The following day the man’s wife, her sister and his mother-in-law are tricked by the man to go to Tesco’s. In walks Arti and in no time at all he strangles the wife, her sister and mother-in-law. All the newspapers lead with the same headline the following day – Arti chokes three for a pound at Tesco’s.
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Mother In Law Happiness
Happiness is defined as opening your refrigerator to find your mother-in-law's picture on the milk carton.
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Cannibals Distaste
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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