Bucket of Crap and Mother-in-law

Q: What's the difference between a bucket of crap and a mother-in-law?
A: The bucket!

Do You Like the Food?

Sign seen in a small restaurant: Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.

The Sweet Kiss

There was a couple involved in a very bad car accident. The wife's face was badly burned. The doctors said they could take the burnt skin and replace it with extra skin. The woman's husband gladly allowed the doctors to use some skin from his behind. The woman healed beautifully and ask her husband if there was anything she could do for him for being so nice to donate his skin. And the husband replied, "no need...I get all the satisfaction I could ever want each time your mother kisses you on the cheek!"