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Jokes about Families - Man Criticizes Woman
While A Lady Is Present
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
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Observations of Women
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult:
Charlotte Whitton: "Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone."
Lenny Bruce: "I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine."
Mel Gibson: "I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against."
David Niven: "One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money."
Edgar Watson: "Howe Brigands demand your money or your life, women require both."
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Teeth
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
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