Meaning Of Names

A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?" The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head." The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head." The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY." The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Refrigerator."

Meet the Father

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

I Didn't Even Know!

Three drunks were sitting at a bar. The first one said, "I went in my daughter's room, looked in the drawer and found a pack of cigarettes."  He paused, "I didn't even know she smoked!"
The second drunk said, "I can beat that! I went into my daughters room, looked in the closet and found a case of beer. I didn't even know she drank!" 
The first two looked at the third as he begin to speak.."I can beat that! I went into my daughter's room and looked under her pillow. I found a pack of condoms!!!"  He paused, "I didn't even know she had a penis!!!"