Family Breakfast

Two brothers went downstairs for breakfast, where their mother was cooking. "What do you want for breakfast?" asked the mother. "Shit, I want some fucking pancakes," said the first brother. The mother slapped him across the face. "We don''t talk like that in this house. Now, how about you, son? I hope you've learned a lesson from your brother. What do you want for breakfast?" "I''ve sure learned my lesson! You can bet your ass I don't want any fucking pancakes!"

Bragging Rights

"My brother likes to brag about the size of his penis which doesn't bother me, I just wish he wouldn't rub it in my face."

Three Brothers

There were three brothers who bought a three story house. The eldest brother had the top floor, the middle had the middle floor, and the youngest got the bottom floor.
A little while after they moved in, the eldest brother brought over his girlfriend. During that night, the two younger brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh. The next morning, the younger brothers asked their brother what the noise they'd heard last night was. He replied, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
The middle brother was excited by that, so he brought over his girlfriend the next night. During that night, the two other brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh. The eldest and youngest asked him what the noise in his room last night was. He replied, "Click- turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
Now, the youngest brother was really excited. So he brought over his girlfriend, and that night, the older brothers heard the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! In the morning, the older brothers asked him what the noise in his room was. So, he said, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room. Fftt-farted, and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-landed on the bedpost."