Jump Off Genie

A Polish man, a German guy, and an American dude, climb a mountain because they each want to make a wish from the genie on the top. When they make it to the top, they find the lamp and all rub it. The genie appears and says, "For your wish to be granted, you must yell it out while you are jumping off of this mountain." So the German jumps off and yells, "I wish to be a fighter plane!" "So be it," the genie says, and the German becomes a plane. The American jumps off and yells, "I wish to be an eagle!" "So be it," the genie says, and the American becomes an eagle and flies away. The Polish man runs to the edge, accidentally trips on a rock, and yells, "I wish to b- oh S**t!"

It's 11 O'clock...

In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?" In England they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?" In France they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your husband is?" In Poland they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"

Forbidden Fruit

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train.  A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."