Greek Yogurt

Bought a Greek style yogurt. When I opened it there was just a note inside that said "IOU one yogurt"

U.S. Citizen Application

A woman from another country wants to come to the United States. So she goes to the visa department to get a visa. When she gets the form, she fills out her name. Her first name is ''Wanna'' and her last name, ''Fuckme.'' The visa guy reads over the application and says, ''I'm sorry I can't accept this name. It's inappropriate and you're going to have to change it.'' So, the woman leaves, and is gone for a month and when she returns, she fills out the same form again.
She writes her first name, ''Wanna,'' and her last name ''Fuckme-Please.'''

The Best Book On Elephants

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book on elephants. The British submited a dry historical account "The Elephant and the British Empire." The French submited a text  "The Sensuality of the Elephant -- a Personal Account." The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled "An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant's Ear." The Americans submited an article from "Money" magazine: "Elephants -- the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80s". Green-Peace submited a counter-entry "Elephants -- they're better than People" The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled  "The superiority of the Soviet Elephant" and submited a poem "The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant." But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier  "We have no Elephants but wouldn't you want to buy a Honda instead"