Foreplay

Q: What is the Australian for foreplay?
A: Brace yourself, Sheila!
Q: And the Welsh?
A: Are you awake, Gwen?

Check's in the Mail

Back in the unhappy days when Czechoslovakia was under Soviet domination, a valiant freedom fighter was wandering through the countryside, trying to evade a Soviet agent, who was in hot pursuit, found himself near an old castle, and went inside for refuge.
Soon he found that the Soviet agent had followed him into the castle so our hero slipped into the nearest hiding-place, which was a medieval armor. He remained there, very still, until the Soviet gave up in disgust, and left him free to continue working for the liberation of his native land.
Why didn't the Soviet agent think to look inside the armor?"
Very simple,... As a well-trained Marxist, he would never consider any capitalistic lie as that there was a Czech in the mail."

Samoan Tree Climbing

Q: How did the Samoan climb the tree?
A: He didn't. He scared the limbs out of it!