Short Armed Italian

Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A Speech Impediment!

A Brief Declaration

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"

Italian Military Inspection

The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. "Colonel!" he spat out. "Yes, general!" the colonel quavered. "Your troops, your troops," stormed the general. "They look very nice, they stand very nice, but they stink, man, they stink! Can't you get them to change their underwear?" He strode away furiously. The colonel sniffed for himself. "The general, yes, he's right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with Giovanni..."