Proud Father

Big Lorenzo, an Italian fella, is bragging to his friends about his sons: "I'ma so prouda my oldest son. He maka fifty thousand dollar evra year. Hesa Engineer!" "I even more prouda ma second son. He maka five hundred thousand dollar a year. Hesa Doctor!" "But, I'ma da proudest a ma youngest son. He maka Five million dollar a year. Hesa Sports Mechanic!" Paolo, his friend asks: "What's a Sports Mechanic?" Lorenzo replies: "Wella, he can fixa everytin. He fixa da horseraces, he fixa da boxin matcha..."

The Frenchman and the Italian

A Frenchman and an Italian were in the woods hunting together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across their path, totally nude.
"Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!" the Frenchman said, smacking his lips.
So the Italian shot her.

Short Armed Italian

Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A Speech Impediment!