Italian Chef

Q: Have you guys ever heard of the Italian chef?
A: He pasta way..... we cannoli do so much, he was here today and gone tomato.

Brain Operation

This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, "I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much." So the doctor says, "Well, it's risky, but okay." So into the operating room they go for the brain removal procedure. Later, when the German guy wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We are VERY sorry, but we accidentally removed 75% of your brain instead of 50%." The guy looks up and says, "Mama Mia!"

Upmanship

An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life. Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife...she goes wild!