Three Irish Brothers

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three glasses of Guinness, drinking them one at a time. Noticing this odd ritual, the bartender explains that the beer goes flat when poured and informs the man his beer would be much fresher if he ordered one glass at a time. The Irishman explains he began this custom with his two brothers, who have moved to America and Australia, respectively. This is their way of remembering all the time they spent drinking together. The man becomes a regular at the pub, well-known for always ordering three beers at once. One day he walks in and orders only two beers. Assuming the worst, a hush falls among other patrons. When the Irishman returns to the bar to order his second round, the bartender quietly offers his condolences. The man looks confused for a moment, and then explains, "No, everyone's fine. I gave up beer for lent."

Irish Coffin Maker

A small Irish Coffin maker who was also a bit of a prankster was on his way to deliver a coffin one evening when his car broke down. Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.
An Irish policemen saw him and said, "Hey, where did you get that coffin and where are you going?”
The man replied, “I didn't like where I was buried so I'm relocating.”

Irish Scuba Divers

An American tourist asks an Irishman, "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the Irishman replies: "If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat!"