Peanuts! Popcorn!

Fidel Castro was addressing a large audience in Cuba, and he began, "They accuse me of intervening in Angola..."  A man going through the audience called out, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"
Castro went on: "They say I’m intervening in Mozambique..." and the same loud voice shouted, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"  
Castro continued: "They say I’m intervening in Nicaragua..." and the voice yelled again, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"
By this time Castro was boiling mad and he sputtered, "Bring that man who is shouting 'Peanuts! Popcorn!' to me, and I’ll kick him all the way to Miami."
And everybody in the audience started shouting, "Peanuts! Popcorn!"

Biden Iraqi Advice

Q: What advice did Joe Biden give to the Iraqi PM after the Carter remarks?
A: Get one of the Benelli shotguns we sent you, fire two shots in the air.  Those ISIS bastards will run for the hills.

Polish Kid with Diarrhea

Q: Did you hear about the little Polish kid who got diarrhea?
A: He thought he was melting.