Yen Exchange

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 Japanese yen and walked out with $22. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $16.20. He asked the teller why he got less money than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"

Proud Father

Big Lorenzo, an Italian fella, is bragging to his friends about his sons: "I'ma so prouda my oldest son. He maka fifty thousand dollar evra year. Hesa Engineer!" "I even more prouda ma second son. He maka five hundred thousand dollar a year. Hesa Doctor!" "But, I'ma da proudest a ma youngest son. He maka Five million dollar a year. Hesa Sports Mechanic!" Paolo, his friend asks: "What's a Sports Mechanic?" Lorenzo replies: "Wella, he can fixa everytin. He fixa da horseraces, he fixa da boxin matcha..."

Such A Deal

Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye say there?" The agent said, "Certainly ye have ... Why d'ye ask?" Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale...'tis too good to part with."