Iraqi Military

Q: What are the Iraqi military rules of engagement?
A: If it doesn't move, hide behind it. If it does move, surrender to it.
Iraqi Military Motto: I came I saw I took my American truck and drove home. 

Communism

Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon. Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic. "I'm sorry,"  says Socialism, "I was standing in line for sausage." Capitalism says  "What's a line?" And Communism says  "What's a sausage?"

UK Sex

Q: What's the hot new sexual position for people in the UK?
A: The Brexit - you promise to pull out but you don’t.