A Polack Mugging

A Polack was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued.  His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?",  asked one of the muggers incredulously.  "Is that all you wanted?", moaned the Pole. "I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!"

A Drummer Boy

Q: What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?
A: A slap happy Jappy, with a crap happy pappy.

World hunger survey

A worldwide survey was carried out with the following question:
"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THE WORLD."
No result was achieved, since the following problems were faced during the survey's implementation:
1. In Western Europe, no one knew what "lack" meant.
2. In Africa, no one knew what "food" meant.
3. In Eastern Europe, no one knew what "opinion" meant.
4. In South America, no one knew what "please" meant.
5. In the USA, no one knew who "rest of the world" were.