Italian Wedding Night Tradition

As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions. Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama." Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!" Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!" Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy." Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!" Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol -- this is a job for Mama!"

Merkel Bucks

Q: How does Germany pay for all the refugees?
A: Krautfunding.

Abo's at the Pearly Gates

St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's stroll up ."Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says. In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and God tells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off. St. Peter takes his leave. 5 minutes later St. Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone." God says, "the Abo's? Good," and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!"