A Drink In A Chinese Restaurant

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the    maître d  that there will be at least a twenty minute wait. "Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?", he says. The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist." The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . "

German Pen

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it because it was prettier than most.  The clerk said, "It's made in Germany".  I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then".  The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"  I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."

Scottish Parrot

Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!