Peking Theft

Q: What would you call theft in Peking?
A: A Chinese takeaway!

Polacks Crossing A River

Two Polacks are walking down opposite sides of a river when they notice each other. One invites the other one over. "I can't swim," he replies. "Why don't you come over here?" The other guy says, "I can't swim, either. What are we gonna do?" First guy says, "Wait! I got a flashlight. I'll turn it on, and you walk across the beam to this side." The second guy replies, "No way! I'll get half-way across, and you'll turn the flashlight off!"

Englishmen Taunt the Irish

Three Englishmen drink in a bar and spot an Irishman in the corner. The first Englishman starts to taunt the Irishman, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a sissy?" "Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you." The second Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?" "Oh, no, I didn't know that. Thank you." The third Englishman yells, "Did you know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?" "Oh, no. But that's what your friends have been trying to tell me."