How Specs Live Forever

The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts? The initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Thus, we have the answer to the original questions. The United State standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot. Specs and Bureaucracies live forever.
So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war horses.

Big Smile

Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a great big smile on his face. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so happy about?"
"Well Mike, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me.. tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She says, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I said, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike. I turned off the key and I said, "It's either screw or swim! She couldn't swim, Mike. She couldn't swim!"
The next day Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat sitting at the end of the bar with a even bigger smile on his face. Mike says, "What are you happy about today Pat?" "Well Mike.... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me...tits out to here, Mike. Tits out to here! She said, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I told her, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike. Much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, "It's either screw or swim!" She couldn't swim, Mike! She couldn't swim!"
A couple days pass and Mike walks into a bar and sees Pat down there cryin' over a beer. Mike says, "Pat, what are you so sad about?" "Well Mike, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Mike. Tits WAY out to here. She says, "Can I have a ride in your boat?" So I said, "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Mike, way WAY out... much further than the last two.
I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said, "It's either screw or swim!" She pulled down her pants and.....She had a pecker, Mike! She had this great BIG pecker! ... and I can't swim Mike! I can't swim!

Demarcation Lines

Q: Why do North Koreans draw lines so well?
A: They have a Supreme Ruler.