Stiff Decision

Q: What do Asians do when they have erections?
A: They vote.

Umballa Roulette

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.''
A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms. ''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.'' ''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a blowjob.'' ''But my friend, where is the danger in this?''
Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.''

Top Ten Reasons It's Good to be Italian.

10.  In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
9.  Not embarrassed to wear fur.
8.  No need to worry about tax returns.
7.  Glorious military history...
6.  ...well, until about 400 a.d.
5.  Can wear sunglasses inside.
4.  Political stability.
3.  Flexible working hours.
2. Live near the Pope.
1. Country run by Sicilian murderers.