Pothead Genie

As a pothead walks down the road, a genie appears in front of him. "I'll grant you two wishes," says the genie. The pothead replies, "I want a never ending joint." The genie says, "As you wish," and gives him the joint. The pothead takes a long drag and says, "Awesome! I want another one!"

LSD Cocktail

Q: What do you get if you cross LSD with birth control?
A: A trip without the kids!

Nicotine Patch

A guy decides to quit smoking. He decides to use the nicotine patch, but thinks it looks ridiculous. Later in the week, he stands at a urinal beside his co-worker. The co-worker looks down and notices the man has a nicotine patch on his penis. Horrified, the co-worker says, "That's disgusting! Why in the world would you put a patch on your d**k?" The man replies, "Don't knock it -- I'm down to two butts a day."