True Redneck Girl

Q: How do you know when you have a true redneck girl?
A: When she can chew tabacco and give you a blow job at the same time, and knows which one to spit and which one to swallow.

Serving on the Jury

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Gene Robinson, 24, was arrested in Dayton, Tenn., after having sat for part of a session as a member of a grand jury hearing drug cases. He had already voted on 20 indictments when the next name that came up was his. He raised his hand, said, "That's me," and excused himself. His fellow members indicted him, and police arrested him at his home a short time later. 

Meeting Women

Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy -- right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.