PMS and the Bible?

One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, "Pastor there are some things in life that aren't addressed in the Bible; how are we supposed to deal with them?  The Pastor responded, "There are no such things, give me an example of what you are talking about".  The woman responded, "PMS is not in the Bible". So the Pastor thought and told the woman to call back in the morning and he would have the answer.  The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastor had an answer about PMS in the Bible.  The Pastor replied, "Yes, it's the part where Mary rides Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!".

Gynecologist Exam

A woman goes to the gynecologist for an exam. She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam. After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina." The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice." The doctor says, "I didn't."

Half-Bird

Getting fed up of my girlfriend's speech impediment. She asked me to thaw the chicken that was in the freezer, then got pissed off when I cut it in half.