Slippery

Q: Why did the big moron fall off the roof and the little moron didn't?
A: Because he was a little more on.

Marco?

Two young men sneak on to a blind man's property in order to steal something of value. The blind man hears them and goes to the door with his shot gun. The two young men, seeing the blind man, stand motionless. The blind calls out, "Marco!". Silence. He tries once more, "Marco!" More silence. One more time, "Marco!" One of the young men, tired of the game, yells out, "We aren't going to fall for that..." *BANG!

Yard Work Sign Language

A couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. Her husband is looking for a rake and can't find it. He yells up to his wife, 'Where's the rake?'  She replies by nodding her arms like she can't hear.  So he points to his eye (I), hits his knee (need), then makes raking motions.  She replies by pointing to her eye, grabbing her left breast, slapping her ass, then rubbing her crotch. He runs upstairs and says, 'What?!'  She says, 'I left tit behind the bush.'