Ugly Wish

A bus full of ugly people dies and await their fates at the pearly gates. An angel stands guard with a clipboard and explains a mistake's been made and that it's not their time yet. As compensation, each individual receives a wish and will also be brought back to life. One by one, the ugly people tell the angel of the perils of being ugly and wish for good looks. Much to the chagrin of the angel, as the line grows shorter, a roaring laughter booms from the very back of the line. Finally, the man responsible gets his turn, now rolling on the floor in hysterics. With no one else in line, the man shouts in between breaths, "I wish they were all ugly again!"

Twice Last Week

Mommy mommy can I play with grandma?
Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last week!

What Do Israeli Soldiers Do When They Get Bored?

Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?
A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.