Chuck Norris' Enemies

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Big Family

A women married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, Her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "What do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

Flaming Airplane

Four guys were in an airplane, which was going down in flames. There were only 3 parachutes, though. The pastor says "I should go! everybody needs religion!" they agree and he jumps. Another guy says "I'm the smartest man on earth! If I die, everyone goes broke!" so he jumps. The old guy says to the hippie "I am old, and you have a whole life ahead of you, so you jump." But the hippie replies "Chill dude! We can both go! the smartest man on earth forgot the parachute!"