Saddam Gets Three Wishes

One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert and he stubbed his toe on some hard object. He bent over to pick it up and a Genie popped out. "Oh great," Saddam said, "I don't have time for this Genie nonsense." "Oh wait," said the Genie, "You have to let me grant you three wishes or I'll be trapped in that stupid lamp for another ten thousand years." "Okay," said Saddam, so he wished that the Genie would give him three American women. So the next morning when he woke up, after the Genie had realized who this man was and after the Genie had granted the wishes, Tanya Harding, Garcella Bevoux, and Hillary Clinton laid next to him. His knee was bashed in, his penis was gone, and he had no health insurance.

Lady Gaga Meat

Q: What type of meat does Lady GaGa eat?
A: Raw raw raw huh haa!

Abbreviations

Q: What's E.T. short for?
A: So he can fit in his spaceship.