Magic Mirror

There are 3 people standing in front of a magic mirror. The mirror gives you anything you desire if you tell it the truth, but you disappear if you lie. The first person to talk to the mirror was a very fat brunette. She walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I am the thinnest person in the world", and poof!  The mirror gobbled her up. The next person to come up to the mirror was a very ugly red head. She told the mirror, "I think I am the prettiest person in the world", and poof!  The mirror gobbled her up. Lastly came the blonde. She walked up to the mirror and said, "I think..." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up.

The Blonde Swears Off Men

A blond at a party was telling her friend that she had sworn off men for life. "They lie, they cheat, and they're just no good. From now on when I want sex, I'm going to use my vibrator"  "So, what will you do when the batteries run out?" asked her friend.  "I'll just fake an orgasm like always!"

Blonde Dating

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.