Safe Jump

There are 4 people on a jet. The pilot, a little girl, an old priest, and a blonde. Something goes wrong on the plane and everyone has to jump out. There are only 3 parachutes. The pilot jumps first, then the blonde. There is only one parachute left so the old priest says to the little girl, "You take the last parachute. You still have your entire life to go through. I am old you are young and I know that God and Jesus would want it this way." "That's okay," The little girl replies with a smile. He looks at her puzzled. "The blonde took my back pack."

Blonde Expecting Hello

A man comes home from work early to find his blonde wife in bed with three men. Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!" The blonde whines, "What? No hello for me?"

Just Breathe

A blonde walks into a barber shop one day and asks the man if she can get her hair cut. The man says "Well ma'am, I can't cut your hair with those head-phones on, you're going to have to take them off." She shakes her head vigorously and replies "No, if I take them off, I will die." He put his hands on his hips before he ripped them off of her head. She fell to the floor and died. He was extremely surprised and picked up the head-phones. All he heard was "Breathe in, breathe out, breath in."