Blonde and a Computer

Q:  How do you know when a blonde has been working on your computer?
A:  There's white out on the screen and lipstick on the joystick!

Desperate Blonde

A depressed young blonde was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."  Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded 'yes.' After all, what did she have to lose?
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?", the Captain asked.  "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," the blonde explained. "He's feeding me, taking me to Europe and screwing me." "He sure is, lady... This is the Staten Island Ferry!"

Fresh Cut Sod

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck loaded with freshly-cut rolls of sod drove by. One of the blondes watched the truck then said,  " I'm going to do that when I win the lottery." " Do what?" asked the other blonde. "Send my lawn out to be mowed."