Bar Jokes - Walks Into a Bar

Budweiser Or Else

A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns. "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" "O-o-o-o-r-r-r... w-w-what?" stammers the bartender. "A small Coke."

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar)
Anonymous

Nun in a Pub

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping with music and dancing but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked," May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."
"Why not? " the nun asked.
"Well, there is a statue of a naked man in there, and his most private part is covered only by a fig leaf."
"Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other way."
So the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they did stop just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. "Would you like a drink?"
"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink, Sister ??"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes)
Anonymous

Donkey or Doberman?

The attractive young woman was sitting at the bar alone, when the lounge lizard made his move. "I'm here," he breathed huskily, "to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." The woman turned and looked at him. Her lips parted and she moistened them with the tip of her tongue. She leaned toward him with her hands on her thighs, and her eyes opened to the size of dinner plates. She paused just a second and then delivered the crusher line, "You've got a large donkey or Doberman?"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Men)
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Anonymous
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